1 box of easy-bake Angel Food Cake (the just-add-water kind)
1 1/4 C Cold water
1 box of Macaroni and Cheese
1 Package of Hot Dogs
1 Bundle of Grapes
Feeds: 2 Kids, 1 Adult (+1 later)
0) Send wife to training class and gather ingredients
1) Prepare Macaroni and Cheese (See box for recipe)
2) Pull down plates
3) Microwave 1.5 hot dogs
4) Plate Macaroni
5) Cut hot dogs to bite-sized pieces and plate
6) pluck grapes from bunch and plate.
7) Hold discussion with kids on drink selection, healthy snack request denial and choice of "short show"
8) take cooled plates to table and begin calling kids.
9) Place dry ingredients from cake box and cold water into stand mixer and follow speed/timing from box.
10) search for proper pan -- find bunt pan and decide that will work.
11) Quickly turn on oven then
12) Turn off stand mixer
14) Detach toddler from leg and warn of hot oven.
15) Detach toddler from opposing leg, providing reminder of hot oven.
16) Place toddler on couch after removing from bear-hug of both legs.
[optional] Groan.
17) Repeat call for dinner, turn off TV.
18) Return to bunt pan with older kid following and spray with baker's Pam.
19) Pour batter into pan.
20) Explain to older kid about batter and that it is not made with "licking eggs."
21) Provide detailed instructions to kids on going to the dinner table.
22) Buckle toddler into chair.
23) Put cake in oven.
24) Pour milk, under protest as options were not given, then hold discussion about having performed step (7)
25) Return Thanks to God for the food.
26) Fix your own plate, quantities now optional.
27) Attempt to enjoy normal kid-interrupted dinner with kid-discussions and tantrums.
[Optional] admire getting to this point without having sent a kid to a corner for a time-out.
28) Constantly remind toddler there is no more M&C until grapes or hot dog are consumed.
29) Remind older kid that M&C was her choice and that she must eat it before being excused.
30) Attempt to wolf down dinner.
31) After sufficient food is consumed, excuse kids.
32) Clean off table.
33) Start Movie (original Disney Peter Pan as a suggestion)
[Optional] Empty clean dishwasher.
34) Load dishwasher with dirty dishes.
35) Remove cake from oven, per instructions: "Immediately turn over onto cooling rack."
36) Marvel at how easily the cake slid free.
37) Realize that this is *not* the way it should go...
38) Confirm suspicion that (18) should not have been performed.
39) Rename dish to Fallen-Angel Cake.
40) Remove cool-whip from freezer.
41) Get out dessert plates.
42) Slice strawberries.
43) Slice more strawberries.
44) Wait for movie to near completion.
45) Cut servings of massively-deflated cake, plate with strawberries and cool-whip.
46) Wait for movie to finish.
47) Call kids for dessert.
48) Avoid Stampede
49) Turn off-TV before kids realize and get upset.
50) Enjoy!
[Optional] Blog about ordeal so others can laugh with you.
