The Big Sister

When my son was born we fully expected that my daughter would have a period of adjustment to endure. At times we joked that it would be the next 16 years and there is still truth in that. What I did not expect was my daughter's set of reactions in the last 6 weeks.

She is 2.5 and acting all of it and in many ways even older when her brother was born. Personal independence at the fore, she had envisioned herself only important person in the house. Thankfully this behavior, which we are working on daily, is constrained only to the house and our cars.

She has an active interest in her baby brother and wants to see what he does. We were not sure how she would react at the time, but she was absolutely wonderful in helping to prepare his room, crib, changing table, closet, etc as we made her an active part of that process. However, she doesn't recognize any boundaries on when she needs to leave him alone. Pacifiers can be shoved in his mouth with the most honestly good and helpful intent. It can be playtime for them while he is in his crib, trying to relax. And, apparently, sleep is a temporary state which can be invalidated at a moment's notice.

On the other hand, we've encountered a significant amount of regression. Little darling has decided she can play the "I'm a baby" card at will. She claims that she needs diaper changes, to be rocked to bed, to sleep with us in our room, and the most frustrating item being that she can cry whenever she doesn't get her way. We've lost all of the good potty training we'd had, although apparently she still takes herself while at daycare.

But, in the end, she is watching out for his best interests, at least as much as can be understood by a 2.5 year old. When he cries she tries to comfort him. When it's dinner time she makes sure he has a seat at the table. When he won't stop crying she offers to get his medicine. She enjoys holding him and he now smiles back at her. They snuggle together on the couch in the most darling positions. And, probably the best sign of success that has been there from day 1, she talks more proudly about him than I do to everyone she knows. (Even if it does include a little too much detail about "his owies" than most people need to hear.)